Tales & Threads

If my daughter were to ask me today for love advice, I would say this:

Someone who has a crush on you will find ways—often ridiculous, sometimes endearing—to sweep you off your feet. There may be many who believe they are in love with you, but only one whose love you will wish is real.

There will be the hopeless romantics—the ones who take long, unnecessary detours just to pass your street, hoping for that rare moment when you might be at the balcony or by the window. A single glimpse of you would paste a smile on their face for days.

Then, the show-offs. They’ll circle your neighborhood in their parents’ expensive cars, hoping that you’ll notice, maybe even have a secret desire to sit beside them. They may rarely speak to you directly, but if you listen carefully, you’ll find that the songs blaring from their stereos say everything they’re too afraid to say themselves.

There are the artists, who will write the most perfect letters and poems about your beauty—so celestial, so unreachable. Their command of language and love might leave you dizzy, swept away by their attention to detail and passion.

Then come the mature ones—the quiet protectors. For them, your safety and comfort will be paramount. They will wait until you’ve reached home. They will arrange transport when needed. They will not need to shout their love; they will show it in how they care for you.

And sometimes, you will meet someone who has a little of all of these in them—not extreme, just enough.

You may choose whoever you like, and yes, you are allowed to change your mind. That’s part of love, too.

But, my darling daughter, please steer clear of the ones who hurt themselves to prove they love you. The ones who use suffering as a weapon to manipulate your heart. The ones who crumble at rejection and go berserk. Someone who hasn’t learned to love themselves cannot truly love someone else.

You may laugh at my advice and remind me that those days and those kinds of boys are long gone. You might say this is the modern age—there are no handwritten letters, no balcony glances, no mixtapes, no serenades through loud car stereos. You might speak of apps I’ve never heard of, of people who don’t fit the narrow labels I’ve grown up with. You might gently correct me and say that love could come from any gender, from those who are non-binary too.

And maybe you’ll think of me as a dinosaur, and make a mental note never to come to me for love advice again.

That’s okay.

Because even if I feel a little lost in this maze of the new age, I will always hope you find someone who loves you more than I ever could. ❤️